I had to make a blog post just to share this video.
What an excellent interview with someone who exemplifies how CrossFit can transform you. I've only been at CrossFit for about 2.5 months, and in that short time, it has honestly made my life so much better. It's hard to be sad, depressed, or angry about crappy things in life after doing a WOD, even if you come in last (as i often, do, hehe); just the act of trying and pushing through makes you a stronger person everyday. It has not been a great past year, but CrossFit has helped turn it around for me ♥ . This guy expresses this wonderfully.
CrossFit>therapy
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Still at it...
Still CrossFitting, still loving it.
Jumping during the 7 minute Burpee's from open WOD 12.1
Tuesdays and Thursdays at our box is strength training day. We use the Wendler 5/3/1 method and mix it up a bit each week. Usually, Tuesday is front squats and power cleans, while Thursday consists of deadlifts and push press.
I love all of the olympic style weight lifting, so it's hard for me to pick a "favorite," per se, but if I had to choose, it would be front squats and power cleans. There is just something about squatting with that much weight on the front of your shoulders that makes you feel strong. And power cleans? Yes, you do feel powerful if done correctly.
This chick looks roughly about my height/size and she's front squatting 185lbs!
My max is...85!
She rocks.
This chick looks roughly about my height/size and she's front squatting 185lbs!
My max is...85!
She rocks.
Our coach says he "loves" to watch me lift because I have "great form. " This is nice to hear since I don't seem to have much speed or stamina during the WODs, hehe.
I am also continually working on getting stronger. I'm no where near where I want to be!
Right now, my one rep max for deadlift is officially 160 (and my body weight is approximately 120lbs), but after our Wendler program last week, we calculated that I am probably closer to 175 at this point.
Ideally, I need to be over 200lbs.
I asked our coach how I should go about setting goals, and he said it's really up to the person. He said I that I definitely have my form down, so it's all about building strength at this point. I'm not sure if it's too short of a time, but I'd like to give myself the following short-term goals.
By May 1st:
-Deadlift 200lbs
-1 unassisted pull-up
-Finish a WOD rx, and not come in last.
In general, I need to work on speed and stamina, but those will be continuous.
For running, I'm still so slow compared to everyone. BUT, I know that I do have speed in me. For instance, Saturday's WOD involved a ton of running. Here it was:
- Run 200 meters forward
- Run 200 meters backward
- 25 push ups
- 25 air squats
- 200 m overhead plate walk* 45lbs/25lbs. bumper plate
- 200 m run
- 25 slam balls 20/10lbs.
- 25 wall balls 20/14lbs.
- 200 m. run
- 200 m. overhead plate walk**(pick up plate you took the first time)
- Finish with:
Other little things: sit-up time. I can do sit-ups just fine, but I seem to be a lot slower than everyone else. In fact, I find this odd because my core seems to be the strongest part of my body. I think I really engage my abs so much during sit-ups because they tend to seize, contract, and stay that way. It's painful!!
I also get winded fairly quick. I don't think I have such a poor cardio-respiratory system, so I'm not sure why I get out of breath so much quicker than everyone else. Or maybe everyone hides it better and pushes on through? ;)
As for pull-ups, I'm using a band now, but trying to "graduate" to a less-resistant band during WODs. I mentioned to our coach about wanting to do an unassisted pull-up, so today he had me working on a negative pull-up. This involves starting at the top of the bar with arms flexed and slowly lowering yourself down to arms extended.
I WILL GET THERE....
Or maybe I will just continue to make confused faces, like this...
This is my, "ugh, this bar is too damn high" face.
In other CrossFit news, I bought new shoes! Awaiting their arrival in the mail...
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
On a mission...
After hearing all of my pathophysiology instructor's stories about her mission trip to Africa through a different university, my interests have definitely been piqued.
Since then, I've been on the hunt for my own medical mission trip. I'm looking for something short; less than 2 weeks, and during the summer time, probably 2013 after my own classes.
The problem is that I cannot seem to find one that is not affiliated with religion. It seems like all of them are doing a wonderful job of helping the sick and poor in providing medical care, but then the underlying theme is to spread the word of Jesus Christ. Listen, that's all fine and dandy, but I cannot go along with that. I don't believe in any of that and I would feel incredibly uncomfortable, cynical, and annoyed if I had to sit around and preach, pray, or try to convert people to some superstitious ideology. Or even just listen to it...at all. To clarify, I know that if/when I go to these countries, they will have their own religions and I may even participate in some way based out of respect for another culture. I get that.
Why can't people just want to help others out of the goodness of the heart because it is the right thing to do for mankind, as opposed to for religion? Hm?!
So, that being said. ahem.
I did find one organization that goes to Africa, specifically for nurses. I'm not going to give away the name of the organization, but a google search will provide immediate results. Based on their website, it doesn't seem religious. Of course, now that I've received the application, it does contain some quotes from the bible, which...fine, whatever. They apply to the situation, I suppose. I can deal with that. But then the application asks about our willingness to attend a "Christian worship service as part of the experience...if not, explain." Ok, well, it seems as if they're giving me a way to opt out. I mean, I could be Jewish or Muslim. I doubt they would accept the whole atheist thing, though.
I have emailed back to inquire further into their religious affiliation. Awaiting a reply.
There is still hope for my dream of going on a medical mission trip.
I happened to email my instructor and ask about opportunities through the university, and she reminded me that every summer, as part of the undergraduate Community rotation, they go to Panama for 3 weeks. I remember this! I wanted to go so badly, but alas, I was broke. She did mention that a few graduate students have gone in the past. Score!! A way in?
I emailed the director.
(the same woman who "pinned" me during our graduation ceremony...)
I spoke with her by phone a few weeks ago. Before we spoke, I looked at my schedule. During summer 2013, I will be in my Women's health rotation. PERFECT. I know that they provide tons of women's health services when they go to Panama. Perhaps I would be able to fulfill some of my clinical hours?
She thought this sounded like a wonderful idea, and even better, the Women's health instructor had expressed the desire to go, as well. Maybe she could be your preceptor? Even better!
Since the time is so far away, and I'm still so new in my graduate classes, everything is up in the air. But I'm going to hold out hope that it works out.
Also, the Africa trip is $3200. The Panama trip: $1200. And I could get credits for clinical hours, so that's even more of an incentive. I have to admit though, going to Africa just sounds way cooler. The downside to the trip to Panama is the length--3 weeks. That would be difficult with taking time off from work.
If anyone reading this knows of a medical mission trip that is not religiously affiliated, please comment! Or, if you've been on your own medical mission trip, I'd love to hear about it.
Since then, I've been on the hunt for my own medical mission trip. I'm looking for something short; less than 2 weeks, and during the summer time, probably 2013 after my own classes.
The problem is that I cannot seem to find one that is not affiliated with religion. It seems like all of them are doing a wonderful job of helping the sick and poor in providing medical care, but then the underlying theme is to spread the word of Jesus Christ. Listen, that's all fine and dandy, but I cannot go along with that. I don't believe in any of that and I would feel incredibly uncomfortable, cynical, and annoyed if I had to sit around and preach, pray, or try to convert people to some superstitious ideology. Or even just listen to it...at all. To clarify, I know that if/when I go to these countries, they will have their own religions and I may even participate in some way based out of respect for another culture. I get that.
Why can't people just want to help others out of the goodness of the heart because it is the right thing to do for mankind, as opposed to for religion? Hm?!
So, that being said. ahem.
I did find one organization that goes to Africa, specifically for nurses. I'm not going to give away the name of the organization, but a google search will provide immediate results. Based on their website, it doesn't seem religious. Of course, now that I've received the application, it does contain some quotes from the bible, which...fine, whatever. They apply to the situation, I suppose. I can deal with that. But then the application asks about our willingness to attend a "Christian worship service as part of the experience...if not, explain." Ok, well, it seems as if they're giving me a way to opt out. I mean, I could be Jewish or Muslim. I doubt they would accept the whole atheist thing, though.
I have emailed back to inquire further into their religious affiliation. Awaiting a reply.
There is still hope for my dream of going on a medical mission trip.
I happened to email my instructor and ask about opportunities through the university, and she reminded me that every summer, as part of the undergraduate Community rotation, they go to Panama for 3 weeks. I remember this! I wanted to go so badly, but alas, I was broke. She did mention that a few graduate students have gone in the past. Score!! A way in?
I emailed the director.
(the same woman who "pinned" me during our graduation ceremony...)
I spoke with her by phone a few weeks ago. Before we spoke, I looked at my schedule. During summer 2013, I will be in my Women's health rotation. PERFECT. I know that they provide tons of women's health services when they go to Panama. Perhaps I would be able to fulfill some of my clinical hours?
She thought this sounded like a wonderful idea, and even better, the Women's health instructor had expressed the desire to go, as well. Maybe she could be your preceptor? Even better!
Since the time is so far away, and I'm still so new in my graduate classes, everything is up in the air. But I'm going to hold out hope that it works out.
Also, the Africa trip is $3200. The Panama trip: $1200. And I could get credits for clinical hours, so that's even more of an incentive. I have to admit though, going to Africa just sounds way cooler. The downside to the trip to Panama is the length--3 weeks. That would be difficult with taking time off from work.
If anyone reading this knows of a medical mission trip that is not religiously affiliated, please comment! Or, if you've been on your own medical mission trip, I'd love to hear about it.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Nursing stuff
I've been wanting to update the ol' blog here, but feel like I have "nothing worthwhile to say."
I'm just going to write.
Right now, I'm in the middle of my spring break. I coincided my work schedule with school, so I would have 7 glorious days off. Of course, during this break, I need to study for a pathophysiology quiz and write a paper! If I ever become a teacher (not likely), I will make sure all papers and quizzes are due the week prior to spring break, so the students can actually get a break. What a concept!
Work has been good. I'm precepting a student for her final semester of nursing school. This is my first time precepting someone for this many hours (180), and it's been good, but challenging at times. The thing is, this student is pretty good. She isn't afraid of doing basic nursing skills, not afraid of patients or families, etc. It's great. She is confident and should be proud of the work she is doing...but there is a fine line between confidence and over confidence. It can be dangerous. The experienced nurses will know what I mean. As for me, precepting a student has been a real eye opener as far as my own knowledge and skills. I found that I almost had to brush up on a few things. At first, I felt kind of embarrassed if trying to explain something, and realizing, hmmm, maybe I need to look this up, but I have to remember: I do not know everything, and never will. However, with nearly 4 years of experience under my belt, I am a damn good nurse, and I have come a long, long way. Lately, I've felt my own confidence levels shift. I am no longer worried in certain situations and while I still ask tons of questions, I'm definitely feeling more seasoned. It is a lot less stressful to go to work in the ICU because I feel like I know what I am doing. The whole critical thinking thing has definitely matured. I love how I can totally see and feel this shift in myself.
Nursing is cool like that.
The best part about precepting: for every 70 hours, I get 3 credit hours at my university. Um, hello free money! Since I'm doing 180 hours, it's approximately 2.5 classes!! Graduate school classes.
While on the subject of graduate school, as I mentioned in my previous post, I've been thinking about changing to the Family Nurse Practitioner track (from Adult). On March 2nd, I went ahead and submitted...
While I love working in the ICU and being a "critical care nurse," I do not see myself doing critical care for my entire career, or even working in the hospital!
Critical care was always my goal as an RN, and for awhile, I even saw myself working in the ICU as a Nurse Practitioner, too, but...not anymore. The ICU is awesome. I would never, ever want to work anywhere in the hospital besides the ICU. I'm still learning and growing as an RN, and the ICU has afforded me huge opportunities in developing into an autonomous nurse. I did not have this autonomy on the floor, and I doubt I would have grown much in that environment. When I graduate in May 2014, I will have 6 years of nursing experience, with 5 of those in the ICU. When the day comes that I can no longer call myself an ICU nurse, I will be sad. I love the ICU.
But, I see a huge need in the community for preventive primary care. Long term, this is where I picture myself as a nurse practitioner. I see myself working initially in a tough environment--like a rural or inner-city community health center clinic providing primary care to those who cannot afford it. I understand this environment will be rough, but something about it calls to me. The whole public health nursing...talk about a stark difference when compared to the ICU.
My school of thought is that no one should go sick or die because they cannot afford healthcare. If you don't agree with this, then I honestly think something is wrong with you morally and ethically. Yes.
I would love to move somewhere that is lacking in medical care and open up a small practice, operating as the sole primary care provider for that community. I know I'm being pretty idealistic, but I'm a student, so that's allowed, right?
We will see where my career leads me!
I'm just going to write.
Right now, I'm in the middle of my spring break. I coincided my work schedule with school, so I would have 7 glorious days off. Of course, during this break, I need to study for a pathophysiology quiz and write a paper! If I ever become a teacher (not likely), I will make sure all papers and quizzes are due the week prior to spring break, so the students can actually get a break. What a concept!
Work has been good. I'm precepting a student for her final semester of nursing school. This is my first time precepting someone for this many hours (180), and it's been good, but challenging at times. The thing is, this student is pretty good. She isn't afraid of doing basic nursing skills, not afraid of patients or families, etc. It's great. She is confident and should be proud of the work she is doing...but there is a fine line between confidence and over confidence. It can be dangerous. The experienced nurses will know what I mean. As for me, precepting a student has been a real eye opener as far as my own knowledge and skills. I found that I almost had to brush up on a few things. At first, I felt kind of embarrassed if trying to explain something, and realizing, hmmm, maybe I need to look this up, but I have to remember: I do not know everything, and never will. However, with nearly 4 years of experience under my belt, I am a damn good nurse, and I have come a long, long way. Lately, I've felt my own confidence levels shift. I am no longer worried in certain situations and while I still ask tons of questions, I'm definitely feeling more seasoned. It is a lot less stressful to go to work in the ICU because I feel like I know what I am doing. The whole critical thinking thing has definitely matured. I love how I can totally see and feel this shift in myself.
The best part about precepting: for every 70 hours, I get 3 credit hours at my university. Um, hello free money! Since I'm doing 180 hours, it's approximately 2.5 classes!! Graduate school classes.
While on the subject of graduate school, as I mentioned in my previous post, I've been thinking about changing to the Family Nurse Practitioner track (from Adult). On March 2nd, I went ahead and submitted...
I was also required to write a letter of explanation. It has not been officially approved, but I don't suspect this will be an issue. Hopefully...because now I am 100% certain about my decision!
Critical care was always my goal as an RN, and for awhile, I even saw myself working in the ICU as a Nurse Practitioner, too, but...not anymore. The ICU is awesome. I would never, ever want to work anywhere in the hospital besides the ICU. I'm still learning and growing as an RN, and the ICU has afforded me huge opportunities in developing into an autonomous nurse. I did not have this autonomy on the floor, and I doubt I would have grown much in that environment. When I graduate in May 2014, I will have 6 years of nursing experience, with 5 of those in the ICU. When the day comes that I can no longer call myself an ICU nurse, I will be sad. I love the ICU.
But, I see a huge need in the community for preventive primary care. Long term, this is where I picture myself as a nurse practitioner. I see myself working initially in a tough environment--like a rural or inner-city community health center clinic providing primary care to those who cannot afford it. I understand this environment will be rough, but something about it calls to me. The whole public health nursing...talk about a stark difference when compared to the ICU.
My school of thought is that no one should go sick or die because they cannot afford healthcare. If you don't agree with this, then I honestly think something is wrong with you morally and ethically. Yes.
I would love to move somewhere that is lacking in medical care and open up a small practice, operating as the sole primary care provider for that community. I know I'm being pretty idealistic, but I'm a student, so that's allowed, right?
We will see where my career leads me!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Concentration
I am currently in semester 2 of 7 of my graduate program to become an Adult-Gerontological Nurse Practitioner.
I'm enrolled in Advanced Pathophysiology and Nursing Research.
Patho has been...interesting. Without going into too much detail, our original professor who had been at the school for something like 20 years, suddenly was replaced with our new professor last week! Halfway through the semester, and we're left with little explanation about why he is no longer at the University, and now a new teacher with new style of teaching.
To be honest, while I hate this sudden change at the core, it has been good. The new professor is a Family Nurse Practitioner, has written 5 books in Pathophysiology, and plans to teach the course from a primary care standpoint, which I love! I need to learn this information in regards to how it relates to my career as an Advanced Practice Nurse. While the previous professor was incredibly smart in all things biology, patho, etc., I feel like this change is for the good in terms of learning patho in a clinical setting! She also does tons of research, so it's fun to hear about what she's doing in the lab. In addition, she's taken trips to Africa before with her students as a practitioner, which sounds amazing. I would love to do that someday.
Nursing research is...nursing research. It is what it is, if you know what I mean! Honestly, I don't hate it like some people, but I'm not all that engaged in this course. I am doing well on my papers, though, so that's encouraging. The thing is, I don't like learning about the research process, but I am intrigued by research in itself.
What I am currently internally struggling with is changing my concentration from Adult to Family. From the beginning, I've said that I want nothing to do with pediatrics, so why would I do Family Nurse Practitioner? But as I contemplate it more, having that overall knowledge would be highly beneficial for me professionally and even personally. I'm still young, so I'm not sure where my career is going to lead me. Perhaps it would be better to not limit myself to just Adults?
Especially since I love the preventative aspect of medicine so much. I'd love to look at the human body and health on a lifespan continuum. Without that pediatric knowledge, I feel like I am missing something. Also, pediatrics makes me nervous. I have no experience in it, especially with medications and dosing--it's a whole new world for me as an adult critical care nurse.
In addition, there's a lot of changes happening at the American Nurses Credentialing Center. They will be retiring the Adult Nurse Practitioner in 2014 and adopting a new credentialing certification.
Here is a list of all the credentials they will retire, as well as the link for more information about what this means:
There is a little voice inside that is telling me to change...I'm not sure where it's stemming from, but I feel compelled to listen!
The crappy part for me is the extra semester of school. 8 semesters. Instead of graduating in December 2013, I'd finish May 2014. In my mind, this feels so far away, especially when I want to start a family soon. I'm not getting any younger at 27.
It's a big decision for me.
Any thoughts?
I'm enrolled in Advanced Pathophysiology and Nursing Research.
Patho has been...interesting. Without going into too much detail, our original professor who had been at the school for something like 20 years, suddenly was replaced with our new professor last week! Halfway through the semester, and we're left with little explanation about why he is no longer at the University, and now a new teacher with new style of teaching.
To be honest, while I hate this sudden change at the core, it has been good. The new professor is a Family Nurse Practitioner, has written 5 books in Pathophysiology, and plans to teach the course from a primary care standpoint, which I love! I need to learn this information in regards to how it relates to my career as an Advanced Practice Nurse. While the previous professor was incredibly smart in all things biology, patho, etc., I feel like this change is for the good in terms of learning patho in a clinical setting! She also does tons of research, so it's fun to hear about what she's doing in the lab. In addition, she's taken trips to Africa before with her students as a practitioner, which sounds amazing. I would love to do that someday.
Nursing research is...nursing research. It is what it is, if you know what I mean! Honestly, I don't hate it like some people, but I'm not all that engaged in this course. I am doing well on my papers, though, so that's encouraging. The thing is, I don't like learning about the research process, but I am intrigued by research in itself.
What I am currently internally struggling with is changing my concentration from Adult to Family. From the beginning, I've said that I want nothing to do with pediatrics, so why would I do Family Nurse Practitioner? But as I contemplate it more, having that overall knowledge would be highly beneficial for me professionally and even personally. I'm still young, so I'm not sure where my career is going to lead me. Perhaps it would be better to not limit myself to just Adults?
Especially since I love the preventative aspect of medicine so much. I'd love to look at the human body and health on a lifespan continuum. Without that pediatric knowledge, I feel like I am missing something. Also, pediatrics makes me nervous. I have no experience in it, especially with medications and dosing--it's a whole new world for me as an adult critical care nurse.
In addition, there's a lot of changes happening at the American Nurses Credentialing Center. They will be retiring the Adult Nurse Practitioner in 2014 and adopting a new credentialing certification.
Here is a list of all the credentials they will retire, as well as the link for more information about what this means:
- Acute Care Nurse Practitioner
- Adult Nurse Practitioner
- Adult Psychiatric & Mental Health Nurse Practitioner
- Gerontological Nurse Practitioner
- Adult Health Clinical Nurse Specialist
- Adult Psychiatric & Mental Health Clinical Nurse Specialist
- Child/Adolescent Psychiatric & Mental Health Clinical Nurse Specialist
- Gerontological Clinical Nurse Specialist
Family Nurse Practitioner will stay the same.
With all of these changes, it makes me uneasy.
There is a little voice inside that is telling me to change...I'm not sure where it's stemming from, but I feel compelled to listen!
The crappy part for me is the extra semester of school. 8 semesters. Instead of graduating in December 2013, I'd finish May 2014. In my mind, this feels so far away, especially when I want to start a family soon. I'm not getting any younger at 27.
It's a big decision for me.
Any thoughts?
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Nine years and the dress
This past week, Mirza and I celebrated nine years together.
Here we are at 7 months into dating...about 18 years old...
So young and fresh! I still remember taking these photos like it was last month...not 9 years ago!!
And now, 9 years into life..26 and 27 (it was my birthday on the 17th)...
Here we are at 7 months into dating...about 18 years old...
So young and fresh! I still remember taking these photos like it was last month...not 9 years ago!!
We are the luckiest people in the world to have each other.
This will be the last year we celebrate our anniversary as just a "dating" couple...next year, it will be as wife and husband! And we'll have a new anniversary: October 20, 2012. But I know that February 22 will always hold a special place in both of our hearts.
...which leads me to the DRESS.
I found it! I found the one.
I almost went back to the previous bridal shop with horrible customer service, but my friend/coworker and I decided to look at a different place one day after school.
And I am so glad that we did! The customer service was excellent. Without going into too much detail, this dress caught my eye even though it is totally different than the one I almost purchased. It is clean and timeless. I love it, and I never thought I would say that about a dress. It was the first one I tried on, but we used the big, poofy skirt underneath, so it was almost too much dress for my petite stature, so I tried on about 10 more dresses. All were beautiful, but always lacked something. I almost left with no dress, feeling defeated again. However, this particular dress was also on a mannequin outside the dressing room, so every time I came out, I saw it. Always catching my eye. The style was different than all of the other dresses I had been trying on that day.
I decided to try it on one last time...
I loved it. It made me happy on the inside. Even if it wasn't what I had expected, or worried what other people expected to see me in...this.was.it. I felt beautiful and timeless--those were my qualifications! I don't care what people expect to see me in, or what people expect out of a small, garden wedding. It it my wedding. I will only be married once. I want to feel like a bride!
I knew it was the one because my friend actually cried! And more importantly, I did not want to take it off!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Comparison Game
Since finishing my OnRamp classes at CrossFit a couple of weeks ago, I've had a huge problem with comparing myself to others, or not feeling strong enough. It was easy to feel strong when it was just me and the trainer, but when I'm in a WOD with a group and I'm one of the last people to finish--it can be a huge hit to my ego.
I understand that the point of CrossFit is to compete against yourself, and to see your own progress being made. I do, I get it. But I usually pick someone out of the class who I think I can surely "beat," but I fall short. The box is supportive, but sometimes, especially the young, strong guys--they finish SO MUCH QUICKER than me that they end up leaving when I am barely finished. It makes me feel like the biggest loser as I am out running during the WOD and I see people drive away...
Last Saturday, Mirza and I went to the WOD together.
I make the worst faces when doing CrossFit...it's scary..
I did everything as prescribed, except with the KB swings, I used 26lbs. I noticed tons of women finishing in half the time that I did. I found it incredibly defeating until I realized, some of them literally only did half of the workout by cutting the runs in half or not as many reps. I think that I finished second to last, and Mirza finished last. Granted, not all other women did this, and they really did beat my time because they are simply in better shape and stronger.
It occurred to me after on the drive home that Mirza didn't realize some people were not doing the prescribed WOD, either. And this really made him feel bad--wondering how the heck some women were even so much quicker than him? This is why it's so important to not compare yourself to others. You never know what the other person is really doing. I shouldn't be paying attention to them, anyway! I just feel bad about myself for no reason at all.
It is difficult though, since CrossFit literally displays your results on a whiteboard to compare your time to others.
I type these words mostly for myself because I still don't quite believe them. I still compare and feel bad about my times and weights.
For instance, the other night we were working on strength training with front squats. I had previously been proud of my one rep max front squat of 85lbs. I'm 5'3, 120lbs--I'm not a giant person, so 85lbs just seems like a lot of weight to me. Of course, this night, we took 90% of our one rep max and worked down from there. I was paired up with another girl. She was thin, but taller than me. I let my ego take over and mentally thought, "hmm, I am stronger than her." Wrong. She didn't know her one rep max, so she used my numbers...and completely blew my numbers out of the water. I felt like crap! This is stupid, right?
Hopefully I can get over myself and just do CrossFit for me, and for nobody else. Of course, I don't think I will even be faster or stronger than the men in class, but it would be nice to beat some other women of the same size and age as me at least once...right?
I know that it's going to take hard work to move up the board, but for now, I am going to keep trying my hardest and be happy that I am even working out and moving my body. Sometimes, I think I am too hard on myself. I've been doing CrossFit now for only one month and 2 weeks.
I need to seriously check my ego at the door.
I understand that the point of CrossFit is to compete against yourself, and to see your own progress being made. I do, I get it. But I usually pick someone out of the class who I think I can surely "beat," but I fall short. The box is supportive, but sometimes, especially the young, strong guys--they finish SO MUCH QUICKER than me that they end up leaving when I am barely finished. It makes me feel like the biggest loser as I am out running during the WOD and I see people drive away...
Last Saturday, Mirza and I went to the WOD together.
- Run 800 m.
- 80 air squats
- 80 sit ups
- 100 m. over head plate walk 45/35lb..(no head rides, locked out shoulders)
- Run 400 m.
- 40 burpees
- 40 slam balls
- 100 m. over head plate walk 45/35lb.
- Run 200 m.
- 20 pull ups
- 20 KBS 53/35lbs.
- 100 m. over head plate walk 45/35lb.
I make the worst faces when doing CrossFit...it's scary..
I did everything as prescribed, except with the KB swings, I used 26lbs. I noticed tons of women finishing in half the time that I did. I found it incredibly defeating until I realized, some of them literally only did half of the workout by cutting the runs in half or not as many reps. I think that I finished second to last, and Mirza finished last. Granted, not all other women did this, and they really did beat my time because they are simply in better shape and stronger.
It occurred to me after on the drive home that Mirza didn't realize some people were not doing the prescribed WOD, either. And this really made him feel bad--wondering how the heck some women were even so much quicker than him? This is why it's so important to not compare yourself to others. You never know what the other person is really doing. I shouldn't be paying attention to them, anyway! I just feel bad about myself for no reason at all.
It is difficult though, since CrossFit literally displays your results on a whiteboard to compare your time to others.
I type these words mostly for myself because I still don't quite believe them. I still compare and feel bad about my times and weights.
For instance, the other night we were working on strength training with front squats. I had previously been proud of my one rep max front squat of 85lbs. I'm 5'3, 120lbs--I'm not a giant person, so 85lbs just seems like a lot of weight to me. Of course, this night, we took 90% of our one rep max and worked down from there. I was paired up with another girl. She was thin, but taller than me. I let my ego take over and mentally thought, "hmm, I am stronger than her." Wrong. She didn't know her one rep max, so she used my numbers...and completely blew my numbers out of the water. I felt like crap! This is stupid, right?
Hopefully I can get over myself and just do CrossFit for me, and for nobody else. Of course, I don't think I will even be faster or stronger than the men in class, but it would be nice to beat some other women of the same size and age as me at least once...right?
I know that it's going to take hard work to move up the board, but for now, I am going to keep trying my hardest and be happy that I am even working out and moving my body. Sometimes, I think I am too hard on myself. I've been doing CrossFit now for only one month and 2 weeks.
I need to seriously check my ego at the door.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Hero
I'm pretty sure that I have found "the dress." It is different than what I thought I would initially pick out, but then again perfect for me. And when I walked out of the dressing room, my two friends/coworkers loved it. They said it's the most flattering on me. The thing is, I don't think I will ever be the girl who puts on a dress and then cries from it being the one! I just don't think that's me.
I am like 96% sure at this point. Part of me only wants to try a few other places just to put my mind at ease. I think what turns me away is the customer service at the dress store. If they were more receptive, then I probably would be 100%. That plays a huge role for me, apparently.
In addition, I feel like a lot of pressure is put on the dress. I worry a lot about what others will think. And while we're only inviting people to our wedding who love us, you still have to wonder how people will judge the dress that you picked. I've had numerous people tell me what they envision me wearing. Believe me when I say that I've tried every style of dress because I had no idea what I wanted. It turns out that a lot of times, no matter how beautiful the dress, it simply might not look good on me. I am sure some people might see me in a different style, but they weren't there when I went shopping, so they have no idea. I am limiting showing my crappy iPhone picture of me in the dress because I want people to see it when I have my hair and make up done. It's only right!
I made our Save-the-Date magnets!
Just waiting for them to arrive in the mail, so I can begin sending them out.
I'm starting to stress LESS about our wedding at this point. I am realizing how good of a day it is going to be and it makes me so happy with our choices thus far. The garden wedding, small guest list. We're having a violinist during the ceremony, and music during the reception is tentatively a solo classical guitarist. We're not doing the traditional DJ, dance floor thing since it just isn't us. I want to feel completely authentic.
We've just about picked a caterer, too. I have to miss the taste-testing due to work, but Mirza will be there.
As for the rest of life...
School, work, CrossFit. That seems to be the run-down.
Saturday marked one month since I walked into the box and did my baseline workout. I know it's still new and fresh, but I am loving it.
Mirza goes,too!
I do need to be careful about doing too much, too soon.
On Friday, we did a Hero WOD. This is a workout that is dedicated to a fallen soldier. They tend to be difficult for this reason.
If you look pretty when working out...1. I hate you 2. you're not working hard enough!
Somehow, I still smile!
I am like 96% sure at this point. Part of me only wants to try a few other places just to put my mind at ease. I think what turns me away is the customer service at the dress store. If they were more receptive, then I probably would be 100%. That plays a huge role for me, apparently.
In addition, I feel like a lot of pressure is put on the dress. I worry a lot about what others will think. And while we're only inviting people to our wedding who love us, you still have to wonder how people will judge the dress that you picked. I've had numerous people tell me what they envision me wearing. Believe me when I say that I've tried every style of dress because I had no idea what I wanted. It turns out that a lot of times, no matter how beautiful the dress, it simply might not look good on me. I am sure some people might see me in a different style, but they weren't there when I went shopping, so they have no idea. I am limiting showing my crappy iPhone picture of me in the dress because I want people to see it when I have my hair and make up done. It's only right!
I made our Save-the-Date magnets!
We've just about picked a caterer, too. I have to miss the taste-testing due to work, but Mirza will be there.
As for the rest of life...
School, work, CrossFit. That seems to be the run-down.
Saturday marked one month since I walked into the box and did my baseline workout. I know it's still new and fresh, but I am loving it.
Mirza goes,too!
I do need to be careful about doing too much, too soon.
On Friday, we did a Hero WOD. This is a workout that is dedicated to a fallen soldier. They tend to be difficult for this reason.
If you look pretty when working out...1. I hate you 2. you're not working hard enough!
Somehow, I still smile!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
I love CrossFit
I am still loving CrossFit! My favorite part thus far has been doing olympic style lifts! I LOVE IT.
During my last On Ramp class, we worked again on the power clean, but this time added in the jerk!
It was seriously so much fun. I feel so strong when I do these lifts. I am definitely getting the hang of it, too. You really have to put your legs into it with a jump to get it over your head. It is definitely a confidence booster when you throw that weight over your head.
He then took me through a metcon workout that was AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) in 15:00 minutes:
-5 power cleans and jerks (I think my weight was 65lbs...i keep forgetting how much the actual bar weighs!)
-10 pushups
-15 squats
-20 sit ups
Listen, this doesn't seem all that difficult, but I can assure you that it was!
I ended up doing 4 rounds plus 17 (17=5 power cleans/jerks, 10 pushups, and 2 squats before the clock hit 15).
The pushups proved to the most difficult for me, even when I went to my knees. My arms were just so tired from the lifting. I was soaking wet, dripping sweat all over the floor. My face was bright red (so pretty, right?).
Honestly, I could barely lift my arms afterwards because they were so heavy!!!
After resting a bit, we worked more with the kettle bell. He tried to show me a turkish get-up towards the end, but I was so unfocused and tired that he gave up! ha. Next time, though!
I went to the WOD this morning alone because Mirza said he was "too sore." pft. lame.
The warm up was 10 sampsons, 10 pushups, 10 tea kettles?, 20 of __ (<--taking a large bar and stretching it behind your back), running around the building (325 meters), 50 double unders or 150 single jump ropes..I think that was it? I always seriously forget what we do in the warm-up!
So, here was the WOD, which didn't sound so bad when I initially looked at it, bahaha (1st rule of CrossFit for me: never think, "this will be easy"):
I didn't actually carry my weight like this for long because my arms are so short. I ended up carrying it behind me, kind of on my back/butt. It looked awkward, but honestly, it's what worked best for me. Any other way just made my stomach hurt!!
During my last On Ramp class, we worked again on the power clean, but this time added in the jerk!
It was seriously so much fun. I feel so strong when I do these lifts. I am definitely getting the hang of it, too. You really have to put your legs into it with a jump to get it over your head. It is definitely a confidence booster when you throw that weight over your head.
He then took me through a metcon workout that was AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) in 15:00 minutes:
-5 power cleans and jerks (I think my weight was 65lbs...i keep forgetting how much the actual bar weighs!)
-10 pushups
-15 squats
-20 sit ups
Listen, this doesn't seem all that difficult, but I can assure you that it was!
I ended up doing 4 rounds plus 17 (17=5 power cleans/jerks, 10 pushups, and 2 squats before the clock hit 15).
The pushups proved to the most difficult for me, even when I went to my knees. My arms were just so tired from the lifting. I was soaking wet, dripping sweat all over the floor. My face was bright red (so pretty, right?).
Honestly, I could barely lift my arms afterwards because they were so heavy!!!
After resting a bit, we worked more with the kettle bell. He tried to show me a turkish get-up towards the end, but I was so unfocused and tired that he gave up! ha. Next time, though!
I went to the WOD this morning alone because Mirza said he was "too sore." pft. lame.
The warm up was 10 sampsons, 10 pushups, 10 tea kettles?, 20 of __ (<--taking a large bar and stretching it behind your back), running around the building (325 meters), 50 double unders or 150 single jump ropes..I think that was it? I always seriously forget what we do in the warm-up!
I'm in the black
- 10 Burpee box jumps 24/20 inches
- 325 m. Plate run 35/25 lbs. (one lap around the building) 5 equals 1 mile.
I'm in the black standing up about to do a box jump!
By the fourth round, I thought about giving up. I honestly thought while running, "okay, four is better than three." But when I got back to the box, I just went for it. I knew I was last, but I didn't care since I was doing the prescribed workout!
Two other people "ran" with me at the end. When I got back, I threw my plate on the floor and demanded a marker to write my time by my name. 29:13 rx!!! Seems like forever, but it was quick in my head.
And then I laid down.
Sporting my CrossFit tank
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
