Thursday, December 29, 2011

Why I want to quit running...

Ok, I don't even have a real reason. I just don't want to do it anymore.

I'm a quitter.

Not really, though. I rarely quit things in life because I have a huge conscience and I just feel terribly guilty.

But my motivation for running has completely gone out the door.

I feel like such a loser, but I am going to focus on the positive.

I ran 5 miles! I never thought I that I could do it, but I did. That's a huge accomplishment for me. The thing is, I am not in love with running and I never have been, however, I do love the feeling of setting out with a goal in mind and then accomplishing it. That is what running has been for me.

But lately, I feel like the idea of training for anything is just too much for me to handle. I am way too overwhelmed. Perhaps it's the pressure of a training plan, which usually keeps me in check. Or the thought of a half marathon at the end. I don't want to say it feels daunting because I do know that I CAN DO IT. That isn't the point.

It's a matter of wanting to do it, and only doing things in life that you want to be doing.

I don't know. I just don't know. I think I need to focus on just overall health and wellness. In addition, semester 2 starts soon and I am going to be swamped with work full time, and school part-time.

I feel almost sorry if I am letting people down, but I don't even feel like I am letting myself down because I feel like I know what's right for me at this time.

I feel like I have missed too many runs at this point to adequately be ready to run 13.1 miles. And if I am going to run 13.1 miles, I want to be trained the right way.

Perhaps I will keep running, but just for myself, not for a training plan. I feel like I cannot compete with all of these running blogs, and they put too much pressure on me. I know that running is just supposed to be about yourself and your own accomplishments, but the pressure for me is just overwhelming.

ugh.

Quitter.

4 comments:

Jena said...

It's okay that you don't like running, you don't have to.

Well, I am not disappointed in you [bc I know my opinions matter a lot ;) ]

Half training is a pretty big commitment, and if you are already hating it at a long run of 5 miles, then you'll probably really hate it as the time goes on and the miles increase. -- long distance just isn't for everyone.

You know what is right for you, and that's really all that matters.

Congrats on your 5 miles! That is way more than some people will ever do!

Colleen said...

Don't feel bad at all- I really don't understand how people can run more than 3-4 miles at a time. I ran a 10K back in November and was sick as a dog afterwards...turns out my body doesn't have much in the form of glycogen (I guess)? Anyway, it was great to run the 10K, but the nausea? No thanks. I'll stick to my 3-4 (but mostly 3) mile runs. They were perfect for me when I worked full time and was going to school...and any more than that just required more recovery than I can afford. You should be proud of your 5 miles, and proud of your career/educational accomplishments!

stethoscopesandrunningshoes said...

If you're not enjoying it, then it's not worth doing right now! Training is a big commitment, and really, if it's not fun, then it's only going to be that much harder to do.
I think it's perfectly fine to decide that it might not be for you! That's not quitting!!
Be proud of your 5 miles! I haven't run that in forever it seems... I hope to get back to that distance at some point!

Candi said...

Get a bike, it's so awesome. :)