Ok, I don't even have a real reason. I just don't want to do it anymore.
I'm a quitter.
Not really, though. I rarely quit things in life because I have a huge conscience and I just feel terribly guilty.
But my motivation for running has completely gone out the door.
I feel like such a loser, but I am going to focus on the positive.
I ran 5 miles! I never thought I that I could do it, but I did. That's a huge accomplishment for me. The thing is, I am not in love with running and I never have been, however, I do love the feeling of setting out with a goal in mind and then accomplishing it. That is what running has been for me.
But lately, I feel like the idea of training for anything is just too much for me to handle. I am way too overwhelmed. Perhaps it's the pressure of a training plan, which usually keeps me in check. Or the thought of a half marathon at the end. I don't want to say it feels daunting because I do know that I CAN DO IT. That isn't the point.
It's a matter of wanting to do it, and only doing things in life that you want to be doing.
I don't know. I just don't know. I think I need to focus on just overall health and wellness. In addition, semester 2 starts soon and I am going to be swamped with work full time, and school part-time.
I feel almost sorry if I am letting people down, but I don't even feel like I am letting myself down because I feel like I know what's right for me at this time.
I feel like I have missed too many runs at this point to adequately be ready to run 13.1 miles. And if I am going to run 13.1 miles, I want to be trained the right way.
Perhaps I will keep running, but just for myself, not for a training plan. I feel like I cannot compete with all of these running blogs, and they put too much pressure on me. I know that running is just supposed to be about yourself and your own accomplishments, but the pressure for me is just overwhelming.