Monday, February 28, 2011

dreams

ugh.
Let's interpret a dream, shall we...


I took a nap this afternoon. I got called off from work...

I was at my mom's house and one of my aunt's came over.  While at the house, I could tell that my aunt was lying when she pretended to get a phone call about "her cat needing something in the bathroom;" I knew she was just going to come back with pills for them to take together. I decided to call the police and have them all arrested.


Well, she left, and my mom came out of her room and she looked out of it, but we were both crying and hugging/embracing on the couch and she was repeating, "it doesn't matter,  it doesn't matter," over and over and I kept saying in her ear, "It matters, you have to try and fight. we have to keep fighting." At this point, the fire department arrived in a black fire engine and took her away.


My brother and step father were really angry with me, accusing me of being a terrible daughter for sending my mother away. I kept trying to explain, "But she DIES in the end, you just don't know it." It was as if I knew the alternate reality and my sister knew, too because I spoke with her on the phone and said, "but they don't get it..she dies...she dies. even if she hates us, we need to send her to jail."

ugh@! This was my first dream about my mom like this. I don't recall her face, unfortunately.

If that isn't enough to make someone depressed, I don't know what is...


Kind of reminds me of fucking reality and all of the times that I wish I were wrong when I said, "She is going to DIE," but no one wanted to help us..

2 comments:

Eeyore_fan said...

I'm sorry - what a terrible dream. :(

nurse XY said...

Ugh, that sounds awful.

I'm picking up on a lot of guilt on your part, and frustration that you weren't able to save her.