Monday, October 9, 2006

school and life

I have survived Fundamentals Exam #2. I made an 86%. Trust me, this is GOOD. More than half the class failed last time (I made an 80, but a 92 with the curve), so a B is definitely great in my eyes. Also, she will be throwing out some crappy questions, so my grade will go up once again. It just sucks because she refuses to give any sort of study guide, yet it covers 13 chapters (and we go over like 5 chapters in class). She says they used to give study guides, but they can't anymore because then students did not do so well on the Fundamentals HESI at the end of the semester because they only focused on the study guides when you need to know...everything in the book.
Also, today I had a Patho quiz, which covered neurology. It consisted of 40 questions covering 5 chapters. I miss 3, which is a 92 (B...missed an A by one point). Patho is a fun class and it is not difficult because he helps narrow down the information for us a lot. Also, we can drop one quiz and get up to 20 points extra credit for being "victims" in the disaster training thing-a-ma-bobber.
Besides the constant studying, my life is pretty much turning upside down. My mother is an alcoholic and my step father finally left because he can not deal with her constant threats of suicide and refusal to get a job for over a year. Now, he is gone and my mother is left with nothing, so she is moving to Massachusetts and giving away all of our 5 cats (who I love more than life) and pretty much abandoning me in Florida. So, I won't have a family anymore and it's going to suck. Not that it is much of a family anyway, but at least there was the facade. Also, she has MY cat who cannot live with me since I am in dorm, so now she is taking her up north. I am very depressed.

I cannot be in contact with her though unless she gets sober, which she will not. She is going to die.
Supposedly she is leaving on Friday. First, she was going to drive (pft), but then she cried like a baby up north, so her brother is sending her money for a ticket. She is the most selfish woman ever. Now I have to go home sometime this week in between classes and clinicals and pick up my things like my computer, television, mountains of books, and some clothes. I am really really dreading going and saying goodbye to my cat or possibly not even seeing the other cats because she might have gotten rid of them already. I don't know how she can do this. She is ruining my life. I love my cats so much, how can she just give them away?!! They are like her children. I know she is going to regret this and hate herself. I dont know what she thinks she is going to find in Massachusetts--she is going to be a drunk either way. ughh. All week I have been repressing this because I needed to study for my exams. She called me on Friday in the middle of my studying and that really pissed me off and I got super angry at her. HOW CAN SHE DO THIS?

2 comments:

Kristi said...

Nicole,

I am not going to pretend to know what you are going through, but as humans we all have our problems. Some worse, some better than others. I do understand the turmoil of trying to go to school, study your butt off AND keep a family together. It's very difficult at times and makes the school thing so much more difficult.

You will be in my thoughts and I hope that everything works out the way it should.

ChiaLing81 said...

I don't have the words to say. Just - you're in my thoughts, and I'm sorry that you have to deal with all this on top of school.

Strength to you.

HUGS.