And now, tomorrow is my LAST DAY!
What is awesome and strange is that it will be my last time of taking care of 4+ patients again...EVER! I mean, sure there is a chance in my career as an ICU nurse that I could float to med/surg, but still....EVER!!! 2!~! aaah.
Words cannot describe the feelings...everything from scared shitless to excited beyond belief. I feel like I'm finally going to be doing what I've wanted to do! Besides moving to the unit, I'm also moving hospitals (but staying in the same organization). I'll be transferring from a 300 bed facility to 800...both magnet hospitals. I feel comfortable at both hospitals, but it will be difficult to have to relearn all the new doctors and phone numbers, staff, etc.
The main thing is that I hope I can enjoy it. What I mean is that for the past year, while I certainly almost always gave 100% at work and focused on learning how to be a nurse and how to be a damn good nurse (in my own eyes, hehe), I still felt as if, "ok, I am here for 12 hours, I need to do my job, make it through the day, and then go home." I was not living my job. I was only thinking about what my next steps would be, which has always been critical care. It was as if I was in some limbo.
Now that I'll be doing what I had always wished for, I hope I am able to "sit back and enjoy it" in a way; to truly LIVE MY
I'm only afraid that I will continually be looking to the future for the next step and goal, like school. I put a ton of pressure on myself to go back to school as soon as possible. I also feel pressure from former classmates who are always asking on facebook who is ready to go back...and I know many of them will be! However, I don't want to keep rushing in life. I just wish I could ENJOY this time and let school come when it feels right. Truly, I want to be comfortable as a critical care nurse; I want to become certified, everything.
Also, I don't want to only go back to school just for more money, or "to get it over with," since I'm 24 and feel like I'm getting too old. I am the kind of person who wants to get my master's finished before children, etc. Not to mention the new 2015 guidelines that will require ARNP's to have a doctorate. I'd rather finish before that mark. But who knows what life will bring anyway? Maybe I'll go back for CRNA?
In any case, life feels like it is beginning!
I'm currently reading
...a compilation of nurses' stories from the ICU...for a little inspiration!