random thoughts brought to you by NICOLE

I've been thinking lately about how I chose nursing.
For others, it seemed out of the blue. In fact, it was sort of out of the blue for me as well. I toyed with the idea when I was kid, but pushed it aside. I kind of felt like I wasn't smart enough, which is crazy, I know! I know I am intelligent, but I just had doubts for some reason.
One moment I remember in particular when my boyfriend's mother was in nursing school and I specifically said to him, "wow, she has to know ALL those drugs? And all the things about the human body? I don't think I could ever do that!"

It's funny to think back on that comment now. Stuff like that does not scare me anymore.
Anyway, ever since the 8th grade, I wanted to be a journalist. I wrote for my high school newspaper for 2 years and I was the editor for the last 2 as well. Also, I was part of the Poynter Institute's HS Journalism program! Obviously, I was dead set on journalism. In 2003, I began college, working on general education classes, and by about the 2nd year, I even took this test to get into the college of mass communications. I passed and I was ready to begin the first reporting class by the next semester.
I contacted the editor of the school newspaper and I wrote two articles. I was working on the third, when I called her and I told her I would not be able to do it. It just did not feel right. I had SO MANY DOUBTS about journalism. You can't just like to write to be a journalist, you need to love to report, which is totally different. I realized I did not like to report.
Honestly, I felt kind of depressed because deep inside for awhile, I did not want to do journalism. I pretended to be excited for it, but I wasn't.

I would watch shows like 'Trauma Life in the ER' and saw how successful and happy my boyfriend's mother was and I wished for that. We were driving one day and it just sort of came to me. I said, "I wish I could do something cool with my life, like be a nurse."

Why not? I asked myself.

Yeah, why not? Do it, my boyfriend said.

So I decided from that moment.
I had a goal!

And you know what? Ever since I decided this, my life has been awesome. Everything has fallen into place. I love school. I love to learn. I love nursing! I just love it all! I feel like my life finally has meaning. Even if it is tiny. It is worth something more now.

PS: Can't wait to start nursing school!