what was in the last one?

on a roll with the green monsters.

CCIP

I KNEW this would happen. I said it over and over. I just turned in my portfolio and then HR called me. She said my 'folio looked absolutely great, wonderful job, etc. She talked about setting up interviews with my top 3 choices, but then said it looks like they are only hiring for 3rd shift right now. That is night shift. I REALLLLLLLY don't want to do night shift. I feel like it is so unhealthy...when would I eat and exercise and everything else? I'm such a day person; I love the morning and all the going-ons of the day. This is such a disappointment. Should I do CCIP even if it is on nights or just say forget it? She asked me if this was okay and I said, No, I did not want to do nights, but that I wanted critical care, so I guess I would just have to.
I am hoping that once I interview then I can talk to the managers and things will be different.
I'm so annoyed at this point that I just want to give up and get my master's.

Oh She Glows "green monster"

This post was inspired by Angela at http://ohsheglows.com/

"Green Monster" included kale, blueberries, yogurt, ground flax, almond butter, banana...organic and delicious. Thanks Angela!

best blog

http://ohsheglows.com/

<---the best blog..my favorite read right now and probably for awhile. I love her site! She is so pretty and alive, that's why I like it. That and we have the same interests and get excited over the same things.

Today was a slow day at work. Actually, it has been pretty dead lately with all the snow birds flying back up north. A lot of people have been getting called off. I am trying not to get called off too much since I need my PTO for my vacation in July to see my sister in Boston. However, after working Sat, Sun with only Monday off and knowing I worked today and tomorrow, I asked if I could be on the list go to home at 3 and I made it! I can't tell you how much of a difference it makes to get out 4 hours early. I actually had to time to work out, relax, clean, and watch some tv with Mirza:)
This month has been awfully hard on me financially. I usually have like $300 left after each check (and of course money in savings that cannot be touched), but May has been the worst with purchasing the CSA (http://www.gatewayorganicfarm.com/), Mirza's Birthday, Mom's bday, sister's, mother's day...the money spending never ends! So basically, I am broke. Literally, like $60 in my checking account that can't be spent for pending transactions and nothing to eat.
I finally gave in and had to get some food after the gym tonight. I don't often eat sandwich meats, but I was dying for a ham and cheese croissant. They are so simple, yet delicious.



Gotta go to bed now, more work tomorrow!!

Restless

This is a bit more personal post than I usually do. I keep a lot of the really personal stuff for my LJ, but I just feel like opening up.
Lately, I have been feeling so restless about life. I feel so torn. Not that there is a lot to be torn about, so I think that is the wrong word....um, upset, frustrated, rushed. Mirza won't be graduating foreverrrrr from now. His whole schedule just got screwed with going to SPC, transferring and then when he didn't get inthe first time at USF, that put him behind by a year(he's in school to be a music teacher). Because he has so many more studio lessons to go through, he probably won't graduate until late 2011! ugh, why does this suck? Let me tell you:
- As long as he is in school, I don't see what sort of job he could attain that would bring in any sort of real income.
- I told myself and him (and everyone who asks) that I did not want to live together until we are both financially stable.
- But this sucks because then we won't be living together until like..um forever???????????????????????
- We've been together for over 6 years, we're both 24 years old, I JUST WANT TO BE TOGETHER!! I WANT TO LIVE TOGETHER AND START OUR LIFE.
It is like everyone else is living their life, going on trips, getting engaged, married, having babies....I DON'T WANT TO BE OLD WHEN I HAVE KIDS!! I am just upset because we are so incredibly in love and have everything a couple could ask for, but I feel like we are just separated and that we're not together until we combine our living situation.
-I guess I just always had this laid out plan in my head about the way things would go...like, I would graduate, live on my own for awhile, then when he graduates, we will find a place TOGETHER, our own place with enough room and start to really live together and be one. And then live together, work, travel, have fun and just be US and be alone and be in love like we are...Get engaged and married and save money and then buy a HOUSE and "settle down" somewhere, maybe out of Florida once we're both settled in our positions. Go back to school, etc. And then obviously start a family....but it's like...if he doesn't graduate for 2 more years, I will be 26...! too old.

i don't know what to do. It is really UGH, any suggestions?

Mirza's 24th BDAY

an update

To update:
-Tomorrow I have to do a "shadow shift" in the ICU. I'm excited, but they start at 5:30, so getting up that early is not what I'm looking forward to.
-I'm working diligently on my portfolio for the internship
-I got another raise at work! yay.
-I paid my $500 for the CSA and took a visit a few weeks ago; SO AWESOME!

CSA

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants

Gateway Organic Farms is going to be opening their membership for the next harvest. For the longest time, I've wanted to take part in a Community Supported Agriculture, but because it is a large fee up front (not a huge cost in the long run) I have never been able. However, I think now I can do it! And I'm so excited. The price rose from $400 to $500, but I understand the increase.
I feel like $500 is a huge investment in one installment, but will also be a huge investment in my health! $33 a week for fresh, organic, locally grown produce is an amazing deal and for me, it would be great. I spend a considerable amount on produce as it is; I will definitely get my money's worth. Of course, $500 is for half share, so it would be every other week, but I think it will definitely work out.
Now, to figure out how to pay for it...credit, savings, both? Sigh.

http://gourmetgirlmagazine.com/09/01/specialfeature.php

In case anyone is keeping up, I passed my ACLS course and now have my official "provider" card. Go me!
Now my focus will be on completing CEU for my critical care portfolio.
I don't like to think about back up plans because I feel it might jinx it, but if I don't get in this time, then I will try to go through the next progressive care internship, which is mostly just online stuff it seems, and then apply for the NEXT ccip, which I REALLLLLLY hope doesn't occur.
After my ACLS course I felt even more energized and motivated to get into critical care.

ACLS

I'm taking ACLS today. I'm actually pretty nervous since I don't know what to expect; don't want to look like an idiot, etc. I mean, I have studied and I did okay on the pre-assessment exam, but ...scary!
Wish me well. Hopefully I will come home today and be able to update this as an ACLS certified RN.:)

A lot to lose!!

HAPPY EARTH DAY EVERYONE!!!



It's a lot to lose.

I will be working 3-7 and wearing this cute pin:




---->Geek

Boston

My sister ran the Boston Marathon today!!!

Her first marathon ever, too. What an accomplishment. She is so amazing.

I just bought a Littmann Master Classic II stethoscope in ceil blue!!
I previously owned a Littmann Classic II SE in raspberry, which was misplaced when I was stupid enough to take it off my neck to eat in the cafeteria and I placed it on the chair. NEVER TO BE FOUND AGAIN! I am currently using a Littmann Lightweight II SE that my manager let me have when I LOST mine. It is decent, but the sound isn't as good as my other one.
!! I will never take my new one off my neck.

oh and all that crap about having a name tag will prevent it from being stolen...PFT!! I had one with my name NICOLE, RN in black stickers, very noticeable and obviously by someone who loved it and I KNOW someone picked it up and took it. bastards!
anyway, can't wait for it come in the mail!

ACLS

I am taking ACLS on Saturday and I'm so overwhelmed! I have not been studying like I should be. It's a llottt of info.

*breathe*

Critical Care

Well, the new Critical Care Internship Program will begin August 24th. Interviews will be June 22nd and 23rd.
They now have a new requirement. First, you need to have one year experience and second, you need to complete this extensive portfolio consisting of courses through CE Direct, an essay, letter of recommendation, a few other prerequisite courses, educational transcript, etc.
Since I graduated in August and passed my boards in September, I will be just shy of one year, so I need to really do everything I can to "beef" up my portfolio.
However, I am feeling discouraged and defeated in some ways. I feel I am quite capable of being an ICU nurse. I went to a great school and earned my Bachelors, which not a lot of nurses have. Also, a lot of my classmates went straight from school into the critical care without an issue, so for me, if I don't get into this CCIP and I need to wait until the next (February?) then it is going to just suck. A year and a half? I don't think I can last another 6 months in my current position. If that occurs, I might just give up and try to get into the master's program. I don't want to waste anymore time. I want my ICU experience, so then I get can get my master's...

sigh.

The thing that I have against me also is the fact that I look young too. I am young (24), but it doesn't help when 85% of my patients think I am 17 or 18 and they tell me and ask me!~ I need to everything I can to work just that much harder so people take me seriously.

time for another pie

When organic, local florida strawberries go on sale for 2.99, you stock up!!!

Green smoothie!

My first attempt at a green smoothie. Included: organic curly kale, organic pineapple, mangoes, and banana with one tablespoon of ground flax. Delicious! Definitely need a new blender though.
Here are a few other random photos from throughout the week:

Inspiration

Current inspirations and interests:
-Kris Carr's documentary Crazy, Sexy, Cancer, as well as her blog.
-Vegan and raw inspired dishes
-Green juices
-YOGA
-Photography
-Happiness!!!

I often wonder why people spend so much on books when there are thousands sitting for free in the library! Or even spending $4-5 at Blockbuster when you could possibly get it free! It is amazing. People really need to take more advantage of their libraries. I know all libraries aren't that great or up-to par, but with a little digging, I think one could find amazing and informative books, dvd's, music, etc. Look into it everyone and stop spending mindlessly.
And stop eating mindlessly too:)

bummed

I am totally bummed and disappointed. I applied for CCIP, which starts in March. I found out today that for this time, they only want nurses with a minimum of one year experience:( It sucks!! Now I need to wait until the next one, which won't be until August.

The only good news is that today I got moved to a CN1, so I got a raise (after 3 months!!).

thankful

I got my first gift from a patient the other day!! I was so surprised. It was actually from a family member. A little teddy bear, mug, candy and a thank you card for "taking such good care of my mom."

It made me feel like...yay, I don't suck as a nurse!!

by myself!!

I am on my own now!! I had two days by myself and actually, it is so much better. Everything is on my schedule and I do things when I want them and how I want them. I was terrified at first, but now...okay, now still kind of scared, but working through it. And I think I'm doing pretty good too because after my first day, two of my patients requested to have me again for today and one took down my name because she said she wanted to send me a card!!!
Also, in the cafeteria I saw Sandi and a group of med surg 1 USF students. aw, it made me smile so much because I know how they feel. I just told them to stay in school because it's worth it!!!

OOH and today I had a patient who was 100!! I loved him. All day yesterday and today he would ask me when he was leaving and I would tell him, then he would, without fail, say, "oh you're going to miss me!!" and I would say YES OF COURSE, and he would laugh or say, "No, I'm only kidding." lol. aaha.

Life has been absolutely wonderful since getting my license. I am set up with an awesome preceptor and I feel like everyday I grow as a nurse. I still feel that my heart belongs in critical care, but I have to start somewhere and I feel that tele is definitely the perfect stepping stone. I should probably be finished with orientation by the end of November, so I still have about a month to go.

Besides the nursing "stuff," everything in life seems to be falling into place. I moved into my first real apartment on October 9th and I've slowly been organizing and what-not. It is a definite work-in-progress, but I am young and I have time to decorate!!:)
Here is a link to a slideshow: http://www.flickr.com/photos/31987402@N07/sets/72157608602952647/show/

When I moved, I had a ton of help from Mirza's family and friend, Z. He gave me a lot of furniture, as did Mirza's mom, Alma. I am so grateful for them. Yesterday, Mirza and I headed over to JoAnne's with the intent of finding new fabric to cover a dining room set Z gave me. This was my first attempt at any sort of "re-upholstering," but I think the end result came out great!

What do you think?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/31987402@N07/sets/72157608603296957/show/

Also, I never really posted any pics from graduation, so here are a few: