Yesterday was probably my worst day in the ICU. And the worst part was that it had nothing to do with a patient being sick or me not knowing what to do, but rather--an extremely difficult (putting it mildly) patient. I cannot go into details, but let's just say he was out of his freakin' mind. He made me sick. I really could not muster compassion for this man. He was too manipulative and #$^%@#$^%$^&%$&#$!@#!!!!!!!!!!
My whole day was terrible because of this patient.
Also, I am beating myself up over a stupid mistake that I am afraid made me look like a goddamn idiot in front of people who I respect. The order read to give 20mEq of KCL over 1 hour times 3, but for some STUPID reason, I hung each bag over 4 hours. And his K+ was only 2.7, and he was on bumex and diamox. I just felt so dumb when it was revealed to me in front of the intensivist, my manager, med student, and 3 nurses. No one acted like it was a huge deal, but I'm sure they all thought I was retarded. I think I just did it over 4 hours because when I worked tele, everyone had peripheral IVs and you have to infuse it slowly. I know it isn't a huge mistake, but I'm still beating myself up over it. I just feel so dumb. I don't want other people to question me, either.
Anyone else have difficulty letting small things go?
I'm trying not to focus on it today, but I'm still feeling pretty down about the whole day.